Bram Stoker's Skip Beat ( Oppan Twilight Style! )
by Daredevil fangirl
Summary: Kyoko Mogami is soon to be reunited with childhood sweetheart, Count Corn in Transylvania. Vampires, monsters, nighttime transformations and we can't do without the occasional love triangle of a girl stuck between two shirtless monsters can we?


**A/N:- Hello everyone! Happy New year! Once again, I decided to dabble in a one shot parody.a cousin of mines been badgering me to put it up for a looong time and this was what I came up with! Enjoy and review!**

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I scowled at myself ferociously in the mirror. My chestnut orange hair was swept sexily to one side and my molten golden eyes smoldered in sharp contrast to my porcelain skin, that was smooth and velvety as the softest of creams. Yessir, I was a natural wreck! A horror! An abomination! WHAT was Mother Nature thinking, creating a plain ol' ugly and of course unendingly modest virgin like me?!

Ah, the woes of life!

I flinched as tears pure down my cheeks! I was allergic to anything WET! Holy shit, I was too frightened to take a piss, let alone a shower! Holy crap!

Picking up my bags, I embarked on a long journey to Castle Transylvania to visit my soon to be ultra hottie boyfriend Count Corn. Oh, did I mention he's a vampire?

He wasn't always a Count. When we first met, he was a Prince in his twilight years. Years later, on a New moon night, he was declared Emperor of the night. And then..tragedy struck!

Corn and his friend Rick were battling a group from Cross Academy where poor Rick lost his head. Literally. So did Corn. But he lost it figuratively.

See, at the sight of so much blood, he was pretty traumatised. His true self got eclipsed by the Demon Lord's curse and bit by bit, he started to grow fangs! His blood lust grew uncontrollably and by breaking dawn, he was a raging vampire! Fucking shit!

Of course we can't have a vampire as an Emperor! Poor Corn was demoted to being a common old Count! :(

And now…

*sigh*

I, Kyoko Mogami will be soon the countess with my Lil Corn!

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"CORN!"

"KYOKO!"

We ran into each others arms, before I passed out.

He was stinking! Like a corpse, which he was technically. And freezing too! I couldn't move away from the terrific stench he was emitting because I turned into an icicle in his arms!

Corn didn't notice. He breathed in my scent deeply before his eyes widened in shock.

"YOU SMELL FUCKINGLY BREATHTAKING!", he yelled, scrunching up his nose half in disgust and half in lust. And without any further ado, he flung me across the room.

My head hit against the wall hard and I would have cried "OW", if not for my frozen state.

"Rein-ken-stein!", Corn roared and a silver haired, purple eyed muscle man appeared in the dim room.

Corn looked at me sorrowfully.

"Farewell,fair Kyoko!", he sobbed. "But I cannot hurt you! My faithful manservant will take good care of you! Make sure to feed him chicken! It keeps him calm! As for me, my stomach beckons forth the salvation from starvation and I must go hunting! I love chicken blood too you see! They don't call me a vegan vamp for nothing!".

And with a swish of a cloak, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone!

Leaving me alone with a chicken eating monster. I was starting to thaw out but my insides were starting to grow cold. If Rein-ken-stein loved chicken so much, I was dead meat.

Because every night, I turned into a giant chicken.

When I finally got to my feet, feathers were sprouting all over my body. The monster who had been looking at me with disinterest uptill now, was looking at me with something that looked horrible like hunger.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

"BUKAWK SWAAAK!"

I was a chicken! Holy hell, shit, crap crap and double triple crap!

"CHICKEN!", He yelled in delight and made a grab for me.

"SQUAAWK!", I yelled in fright and fled from the castle. I think I accidentally laid an egg or two on the way, but ran on anyway.

I saw Corn. He stared at me and his lips spread into a wolfish grin.

"DINNER!", he yelled gleefully and ran towards me.

"NOOOO COOORN! IT'S ME KYOKOOOOOOO", I tried to scream.

"BUK BUK BUKAWK!BUKOOO!", came out instead.

And then came the ultimate showdown….

Rein-ken-stein and Corn tore off their shirts. Oh my god! They're both so freaking hot!

They bared their teeth at one another and went for each others throats!

KYAAAAA! Two ultra hotties fight in over poor ol' me! Just like a scene from a shoujo manga! A really B grade one!

As I watched, dawn broke out and I turned back into human. Rein-ken-stein lay dead and My darling Corn was victorius! Yay!

He turned to me and stared. "You were the chicken?".

And then he fell face flat on the ground. "Gotta sleep nowzzzz…", he snored.

I huffed. Maybe I was better off as a chicken! At least they were fighting over me!

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**please review! :)**


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